I have complicated relationships with a lot of pop culture right now. I watched Terminator 2 for the four millionth time last night because it’s my go-to comfort movie. I’m positive there are readers here saying, “OH MY GAWD NO. It’s Princess Bride!” Not for me. My comfort movies are Gone with the Wind, Doctor Zhivago, and Terminator 2. Whatever works, is what I say.

I have a lot of complicated relationships with songs as well. My relationship with “Rivers of Babylon” by Boney-M is forever altered by the fact that my step-dad loved it more than nearly anything else. He died nine years ago, and to this day, I burst into tears if I hear in anywhere near Xmas time. Or any time, really.

I was sitting outside with Stu tonight having supper, and this came on the radio. I immediately started crying. One of my stepmom’s wishes was that when she died (of really aggressive brain cancer a couple of years ago), the first thing we would do is play “Spirit in the Sky”. She had it cued up on her iPad and my sister immediately played it once we realized she was gone.

When the funeral people arrived, they said they’d heard stranger things. They were assessing how they were going to take her out of my dad’s house while Norman Greenbaum blasted from the iPad. This is both an excellent and a terrible memory.

Is there a way you can work with pop culture memory in your writing (especially now)? It will probably be a shitty first draft, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you get it down in some way. I’ve been writing (a little) about these two songs in terms of their relationship with my grief. It’s not been easy. It might not be easy for you.

But the best thing in the world is that you can hit DELETE on all of it if you want to. Getting it down is the thing.

Complicated Relationships with Songs